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Spinal surgery

One of the big unique things about me that almost everybody knows is that when I was 14, I had major spinal surgery. I had what is called a posterior spinal fusion. It is used in the treatment of scoliosis and is required for an adolescent that hits puberty who has scoliosis when the curvature of their spinal column becomes too much. I was diagnosed with scoliosis when I was 8. From the time I was 8 until the time I was 14, I dealt with many different variations of back braces. I was teased, made fun of and even spat on once because of my perceived disability. Children can be incredibly cruel.

Anyways, spinal surgery in general is what interests me, but I am almost always hesitant to Google it because whoa there images of open back surgery and I have a weak stomach for that kind of stuff, I guess. So the topic of stenosis of the spine recently came up and I looked it up with much trepidation. Interestingly, stenosis is an abnormal narrowing of a blood vessel or other structure. There are apparently many different causes for it, but this is the first I had heard of it. It seems a rather uncomfortable situation. Anything dealing with your spinal cord has to be somewhat annoying because of how important the spinal cord is to the body. I guess you never really know how important something is until it’s broke!

Letters to exes

Of the exes that I have, there is only one that I feel connected to in an unfortunate, frustrating way. I always feel concern or think about what he is doing from time to time. That is my son’s biological father. I am sure that I will always have that “connected” feeling to him just because of the situation. I don’t love him or anything crazy like that. But you know, I think maybe other parents will understand that. But the thing is, right now I know where he is but I still am concerned about him. I have been thinking of writing him a letter lately, even though I think that the place he’s in is where he needs to be for now. Hopefully he will learn something, instead of continue to try to be a victim.

Thankfully he’s not in a drug detox center program this time, but he has been multiple times. I think those are a lot harder to go through. Drug addictions will last your whole life, right? I mean, I smoked socially (which is easier to quit than a regular smoker by far) and quit but I still get the craving from time to time. I can only imagine what it must be like for someone who smokes regularly or who has a “real” drug problem. So yeah, I still worry about him.. but I don’t know if I really ought to write him or not. Everybody seems to think that I shouldn’t bother myself with it, because more times than not he just brings more stress than is worth it. I don’t know. So far I have listened to them, but there’s a part of me that just wants to make sure he’s okay, you know? Frustrating.

Television

Do you guys watch television at all? I didn’t used to watch television very often but lately I have found myself either wrapped up in re-watching an old series on Netflix or watching a new series. For instance, Terra Nova, Once Upon A Time and The Big Bang Theory have all been shows I have recently found myself completely wrapped up in. Oh, and the Sherlock fandom too. Not the movies, the British television show starring Benedict Cumberbatch. He’s just a fantastic actor, really. What I find that I like most about television shows is their fandoms. If they have an interesting, dedicated fandom then I am ten times more likely to watch and stay with a show because I find the fandom so damn interesting. I wonder what that says about me as a person. :p

Small businesses

One of the things that I find about small businesses is that they need a lot of money to start up. Well, maybe not a lot of money but probably more than most small business owners have out of their own pockets. Times are tough lately and people want to start something that they can call their own. Something with some promise and stability and I know some people have looked into their own small businesses. The problem sometimes is that people have bad credit due to past mistakes or really just due to the economy collapsing. That is why I would suggest looking up bad credit small business loans and trying to find some type of stimulus for your particular situation. You really never know what’s out there until you look. Well, except for maybe looking today since a lot of sites are blacked out in support of SOPA. :)

E-reader

I received an e-read the year before last for my birthday. It was really exciting because I don’t really get “big” presents for my birthday or Christmas. But the person I was with at the time spoiled me and bought that for me and I have loved it since. My biggest problem is that I don’t know of enough books to fill it with. I’ve been slowly putting more and more books on it. Recently, I was even borrowing some e-books from a friend and was able to read the Hunger Games trilogy. Which, by the way, is amazing.

Anyhow, before choosing the e-reader that I wanted, I did a lot of searching through an e reader review website and found one with the features that I thought would be the best for me. I was very happy with the purchase (and still am!) but since then there have been so many technological leaps in the technology, I am a little bit jealous of the newer ones! Maybe someday, but until then – definitely keep doing your research and reading those reviews. They help out so much in the long run.

New Year, New Resolutions?

Nope. I don’t do resolutions at all. If I want to change something at any point in the year, I make that change right there and start working on the goal. New Year’s resolutions work for some people just fine, but I am not going to hold myself up to a resolution just because it’s a new year. I look forward to the year and continuing to make the choices that I think are the best choices to make. Hopefully I make the right ones, but even if I don’t – it’s still a learning experience. Everything in life is a learning experience, isn’t it? So why not do your best to learn and make the most of your life every month and every day. Don’t wait until the New Year. Don’t make promises you can’t or won’t keep. Do it and stick with it because it’s what you want to do. That’s all there is.